Happy Friday! I was up at around 5:15 am this morning and I had the most magical start to my day, witnessing the bright Full Flower Moon in the dark sky.
I actually set my alarm to 5:30 am these days and I love waking up and starting my morning right with meditation to the sounds of the birds.
What happened this morning was truly magical! I got to see the Full Moon and meditate with it until it went down.
This Full Moon in Scorpio was special. Although it was partly about release and letting go of the past, I also felt like I was vibrating at a new frequency and that I had already shifted my energy.
I spent the afternoon dancing to Osho celebration songs which I manifested as I was looking for this type of music for the past month or so!
The video was uploaded by someone only three weeks ago and it’s exactly what I was seeking! it’s just evidence that manifestation really is simple.
All you have to do is set a clear intention, trust that your desire will come to you and take inspired action (in this case, I spent a good amount of time searching for that kind of music on YouTube).
I honestly feel that this Full Moon was different. I even did a new ritual that I just discovered yesterday. I will definitely share it with you once I find out if it works. So stay tuned!
I’m excited because this Full Moon truly feels like a rebirth and a new beginning. It feels as if I have finally moved on and decided to leave the past behind because it really doesn’t serve my future vision.
Although I feel like I wasted decades dwelling over the past and vibrating on a low frequency which didn’t serve me and kept me stuck, I don’t regret it at all.
The reason that I don’t regret staying in a negative frequency for so long and being occupied and stuck with thoughts and emotions from the past is that I couldn’t simply let go overnight.
It took an immense amount of inner work, wellness retreats, Osho group therapy work and persistence to get to where I am today.
Healing is a journey and it takes time. It has to take time. There’s no way that I could miraculously shift from feeling like a victim to feeling empowered overnight!
It was a deep, intense and transformative process and it had to take decades to get through, because that’s how long it took to create the negative patterns in the first place.
My advise to anyone reading this is if you are living in a toxic home environment or engaging in a toxic relationship, the best thing that you can do for yourself is to leave as soon as you can.
Healing from any kind of abuse takes time and a lot of work.
Most people stay stuck actually and I’m proud to say that I’m one of the very few souls who made it to the other side of darkness. I made it to the light.
What’s interesting is that the words of an Indonesian tarot card reader who I met last February resonate with me strongly today.
She basically told me how I need to get out of this ‘stuck’ place where I was – and this is normal after doing inner child therapy. So again I don’t judge myself at all for feeling stuck. I actually feel like a hero and a miracle for crossing the other side!
With the type of inner child therapy that I did, you can be grateful if you can go back to normal life after it and just live as you were doing in the past!
It’s the type of therapy that shows you how your entire personality was created as a result of your dysfunctional family dynamic. So try going back to your ‘normal’ reality or finding your authentic self after discovering this truth! good luck with that!
You can read about my magical – and most accurate – tarot card reading with an Indonesian reader in this post.
To be at the place where I am today – leading a healthy routine and choosing to let go of my past at this Full Moon – is truly a miracle!
And if some of you think that it’s no big deal. Then that’s because you didn’t experience narcissistic abuse and you have no idea what this feels like.
So, like I said I did a new Full Moon ritual and witnessed the bright moon early this morning. It was the most powerful Full Moon ritual that I did and I truly felt a positive shift in my energy.
What I wanted to share in today’s post is that developing a daily healthy routine for this lockdown life is so important.
I personally already had a specific routine since I was always working from home. What changed now is that I’m able to make time for my hobbies and interests.
In the past, I would only wish that I could keep the same feelings that I would have when I would be at Osho Miasto in Italy.
These days, I’m able to have access to these emotions and that vibration because I’m creating a similar environment at home.
So it takes conscious effort to commit to a positive and healthy daily routine which is aligned to your soul essence.
If you still don’t have hobbies or interests, then it’s time to explore different things until you find what makes your soul alive.
I personally tried many different activities and hobbies to get to where I am today.
It took years of exploring my interests, removing the conditioning and experimenting with different things to finally find the hobbies that make me feel alive.
I’ll be writing a post about the positives of this pandemic soon, because I truly believe that this is a major one of them.
I now join a weekly online ecstatic dance session with a group in Bali.
You can read about it in the updated ‘My Story’ page on the Saudi Diva website.
My hobbies include cooking (which I only do over the weekend now because I have a meal plan delivery five days a week), meditation (silent and guided with Osho Miasto), dance meditation, ecstatic dance and of course writing and blogging.
It took forty years of removing the layers of conditioning to find my authentic self. But I’m so grateful that I re-connected with my authentic and real self and now give it space to shine and be expressed in every moment.
Apart from exploring your hobbies, another thing that I would encourage you to do is to start getting active and moving your body every day.
I know that I’ll be doing thirty minutes of some sort of training for different parts of the body each day, followed but a thirty-minute Osho dance meditation (which is the playlist that I manifested yesterday).
On Fridays, this routine is replaced with a 90-minute ecstatic dance session with the group in Bali.
So excited for today’s session and so proud of myself for committing to it for the past two weeks since I first joined the group.
I can talk more about ecstatic dance in a future blog post. For now, I hope that you will take time to explore the activities that you enjoy doing and you can commit to during this lockdown life season.
I feel so grateful for the shifts that I’m experiencing daily. For being alive and healthy.
For having the awareness and the resources to release what no longer serves me, to re-write my story and to vibrate on a higher frequency which is aligned with everything that I want to create in my life.
Wishing you a lovely weekend and talk to you soon!
Love,
Leela
